What's Past Is Prologue
by EtherealBallet
Summary: AU Prompt: Johanna Beckett is still alive she comes back one day after all those years. Beckett is so mad & in shock. (Beckett and Castle are already married with kid(s) & she's also pregnant at the time) Johanna doesn't know much about what happened to Beckett & that she's married with kid(s) or anything about her life. Goodbyes are always more difficult than one could fathom.
1. Chapter 1 - Unexpected Visitor

Kate couldn't escape the uncharacteristic disturbance cautioning her instincts. As though the air around her had shifted. Today was no different than any other rote day, but she felt as if she'd somehow begun to process events that she was not yet cognizant of. She opened her eyes directing her attention to the clock glowing on her nightstand. 5:30 am. She was grateful for the realization that it was a Saturday. Which meant that she could sleep in a while longer than usual, assuming Samantha did too. She released a drowsy sigh and folded her slight frame into the warmth of husband's. She couldn't help but smile as he hummed with delight into the crook of her neck drawing her closer.

"Mommy, mommy!" It never ceased to amuse Kate how a 'rude awakening' had the ability to compliment such an endearing little voice. Before she could even open her eyes tiny arms wrapped around her neck in elation. Her daughter's petite lips scattering wet doting kisses into her face.

"Good morning, baby girl." Kate smiled, her eyes still closed. She was intent on soaking in the tenderness of this moment. "And how did you sleep last night?"

"Good. How bout' you, mommy?" the bright eyed girl beamed, still situated atop Kate's chest. The way her appearance paralleled Kate's was uncanny. A fact that had Castle wrapped around her three-year-old finger.

"I slept well – but" Kate motioned for her daughter to incline closer to whisper a secret. "Between you and me – daddy snores too loud." Kate planted a playful kiss onto her daughter's cheek then pulled away and winked at her. The girl reacted with a bubbly giggle, a sound that Kate would never tire of. "Speaking of daddy, Samantha –"Kate glanced over to Castle's side of the bed only to find it vacant. "Do you know where he is?"

Samantha's eyes lit up as she nodded her head with enthusiasm. "Mmmhmm…"

"Will you take me to him, please?" Kate chuckled, rubbing the tip of her nose across Samantha's. The tentative look from Samantha puzzled Kate, prompting her to get out of bed and pull her daughter into her arms. As she approached the open door to exit the master bedroom she could hear Castle speaking in a hushed tone as if he didn't want to be overheard. The conversation didn't appear to be copacetic in nature.

"I'm not quite sure how to go about this – so much has happened since you – since she put everything behind her. " She could hear Castle say in a concern-riddled voice. Not wanting to reveal her presence in this conversation, she lingered out of sight a moment longer. Until she heard a voice whose familiarity incited both sorrow and trauma since past.

"Please, Mr. Castle – "The feminine voice pleaded. "I can understand your reluctance, but I need to make this right, I need Katie to understand why." A wave of ice encompassed Kate's body as a numbness settled in. Her instinct was to walk back into the room in a hurry and place Samantha on the bed. After doing so Kate rushed to the bathroom overcome with unbearable nausea.

'This is a dream. It has to be a dream.' Kate rationalized after crumpling onto to the bathroom floor. Her stomach now empty of any contents once therein. 'Wake up, Kate!' She thought slapping her face as she fought back tears. Desperate to jolt herself back into reality, but with no success. She was already awake.

"Kate?" Castle called out, she could hear him enter the room.

'Crap. I need just bit longer to process this.' She thought figuring that her confused and alarmed daughter had likely run to fetch him. Shock washed over her to see the pallor Castle's face, as if he'd seen a ghost. In that moment she realized that she hadn't been dreaming, the voice was familiar. A voice that as a distraught nineteen-year-old she had certain she would never be able to hear the warmth of again.


	2. Chapter 2 - Looking into the Rabbit Hole

"Kate. " Castle breathed, pausing when his the disparaged visage of his wife came into view. Castle's eyes spoke volumes, the placid azure clouded with trepidation. He sank to the cold tile beside her without thought and urged her trembling body closer to his.

"Please tell me I'm dreaming, Rick." Kate uttered still in shock. "This is all just a dream and I need to wake up." Her plea met with her husband's silence as he continued to hold her, running his fingers through her silken hair.

Castle inclined backward so he could look into his wife's hazel eyes, his hands falling to frame her slender cheeks. "Baby, I wish I could." His thumbs stroked her skin with great affection. "But you're quite awake." He couldn't conceal the remorse that shone in his eyes and penetrated his tone.

In a frenzy, Kate rose and approached the counter positioning her weight on her palms as she stared into the mirror. Her expression blank. She studied the reflection of the disheveled woman returning her gaze. It was reminiscent of that broken young woman long since forgotten. With unsteady hands she reached for the glass beside the sink and filled it with water, taking a drink. She hoped that the refreshment would help calm her nerves, her attention never leaving her reflection. Upon finishing the drink she forced the water down with an audible swallow. She then returned the glass to its prior position with a thunderous clank.

Castle watched as Kate allowed her head to fall forward all while muttering to herself. Soon her breathing deepened, becoming more rapid. "Twenty-two years." Her face transformed into a bitter scowl, eyes transfixed on her replication. "Twenty-two years she allowed me to believe this!" She reached for the glass once again and with clenched teeth hurtled it into the mirror shattering both. A pained shriek perforated the air as she did so. The gesture of destruction was not enough to abate the rage burning from within Kate. She clenched her fists and thrust them into the remaining glass on the wall. Disregarding any pain or damage to her hands that would result. Before Castle could withdraw his wife from the fragments of glass, her damage done. The now mirrorless wall, counter, Kate's clothes and floor were now decorated by an array crimson droplets.

Castle seized Kate's wrists and beckoned her to mentally return to him. "Kate –"

"I've almost died – more than once. " She bellowed. "You – my dad." Kate fought to breathe as the emotion engulfed her, she couldn't diminish the tears. "And for what, Castle? She – "

Castle's attention went to his wife's battered hands. They were strewn with lacerations, several of which would need stitches. Glass was still embedded into other wounds. "Babe." He whispered saddened by their disrepair.

"I'm fine, Castle." She refused to look at damage she'd inflicted on them.

"If you don't want to go to the hospital I can call Lanie." He conceded.

"Thank you." She replied with heartbreaking sincerity.

"It's not problem, it's just a call. I do –"

"No." Kate interrupted kissing him with deep affection. "Thank you for anchoring me."

"Always." He smiled somewhat dejected.

"I love you, Mr. Beckett."

"I love you too, Mrs. Castle." He kissed her forehead then procured some hand towels for Kate to wrap her hands in while he called Lanie.

Kate's gaze fell to the tile where the flood of thoughts reoccupied her mind and threatened to drown her. She was somewhat mindful of a light knock on the frame of the bathroom door. She wasn't expecting see the person lingering in apprehension at the threshold. Jim Beckett appeared as dilapidated as Kate felt. It was undeniable that the revelation was as unexpected for him. He pushed a burdened hand across his face and released a deep sigh.

Castle released his wife's hand with reluctance and looked to Jim. "I'll give you two the room. Besides, I need to go call Lanie." He offered a slight smile and took Samantha from her grandfather's arms.

"Thank you, Rick." Jim said placing a grateful hand on Castle's shoulder.

Jim approached his distraught daughter and urged her to sit beside him on the tile. Their backs leaning against the side of the bathtub. He opted not to acknowledge her hands as he knew it was his daughter's heart that had endured the most severe wounds. He stretched his right arm behind her and pulled her into a side hug, consenting her head to rest on his shoulder. "Katie – I swear to you, I didn't know." Jim's voice exuded fatigue and was wrought with emotion. Kate could tell that he was struggling to keep it together.

So they remained on the floor in silence, father and daughter. Both accustomed to emotional fortitude found themselves returning to the source of old scars. The past returning to disrupt the present in a time when each felt a sense of closure. A closure that had allowed them to move forward and be happy at last.


	3. Chapter 3 - A Process

Jim and his daughter sat in silence for a while. Suspended in their own illusory torment. One that straddled the line between dizzying elation and inexpressible betrayal. The disorienting uncertainty of how to feel left both father and daughter at a loss. How were they supposed to move forward with this knowledge? Did they even want to?

"How – " Kate's unsteady voice dissolved the silence. "How do we do this?

"I wish I knew, Katie." Jim's eyes fell to his hands, which he'd been wringing without realizing it. In truth, he hadn't the slightest idea where to begin.

"I don't even know what I feel. I feel happiness beyond words and relief, but in the same breath I feel this overwhelming anger and betrayal."

"Trust me, I know exactly what you mean." He murmured releasing a cynical laugh, then positioned himself so he could look her in the eye. "As painful as I know this is going to be, I do think we should at least hear her out. Don't you? After everything we've been through, we both deserve to know the truth." He searched her expression hoping for some semblance of concurrence.

"Yeah." Kate sighed drained. "I know you're right. Even if, in this case, part of me doesn't want you to be." Jim couldn't resist the impulse to smile as his daughter nudged him in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Besides, we'll always have each other. Neither of us need go this alone." He reassured with loving intonation.

"Just promise me one thing, dad." Kate's face became stoical.

"Anything." Jim's solemnity complemented his daughter's.

"Don't lose yourself in the bottom of a bottle, no matter where this goes. No matter what happens. I can't bear the thought -"

"Katie." Jim entreated, his fingers bracing Kate's chin. "Never again." The alleviation he observed wash over his daughter's face was a blend of reassuring and heartbreaking. "I could never do that to you or my granddaughters. I've learned from my mistakes. I promise."

"Thank you." Kate managed to choke out. It still made her melt when he'd refer to Alexis as his granddaughter.

"Now, I imagine Lanie will be here soon. Once she's taken care of your hands – are you up to facing the inevitable? Rhetorical question, I know." He mused.

"I love you, dad."

"I love you too, Katie. Someday we'll make life feel alright again, we always do." He reaffirmed giving her knee an affectionate squeeze.

Kate's poignant exchange with her father suspended when Lanie knocked on the frame of the bathroom door. Jim smiled and rose to his feet. "And that's my cue. I'll see you soon."

"Oh, Kate – I came as soon as Castle called." Lanie uttered through her worry.

"Thanks, Lanie. I'm sure his protective nature made it sound worse than it is."

Lanie removed the blood-soaked hand towels from Kate's hands. Wincing as she assessed her lacerations. "No, if anything, writer boy understated the damage this time." She countered with a frown pretending not to see the array of glass shards mingled with Kate's blood.

"Kate, what happened?" Lanie's hushed inquisition made Kate realize that Castle hadn't told her about Johanna's return. For this she was appreciative, if Castle were in the room she would seize him by the collar and kiss him with ferocity. She loved how her husband was so attentive by nature, knowing what she needed before she herself ever did.


	4. Chapter 4 - Quiet Moments

The subdued absence of guests occupied the loft. Permitting an intimate conversation between Castle and his wife. Kate wasn't the only one in shock; Johanna's return had perturbed him. But it was Kate's response that haunted him. The resulting impressions adorning her delicate hands, the distress in her eyes. Her disheveled expression spoke volumes, paralleling that of a lost and frightened child. He approached her in silence where she sat at the end of the bed, her dazed stare fixed on nothing in particular.

"Kate?" Castle asked taking a seat beside his wife, guiding his hand along her cheek.

"Where's Samantha?" She mumbled, eyes remaining transfixed on the space ahead.

"Lanie offered to watch her."

"I'm sure the poor girl is so confused. I shouldn't have fallen apart like that with her in earshot." Kate resented herself for exposing her daughter to such a frightening ordeal.

"I kept her busy. She didn't even notice. I promise." Castle assured, his hand compelling her hazel eyes to enmesh the azure of his.

"Thank you. You never cease to me." Tears filled Kate's eyes, showing her immense gratitude. "I don't know what I'd do without you, babe. You're more than just my husband. You're my best friend, my voice of reason, the light that illuminates the darkest of days – I love you so much." She inclined toward him allowing her lips to caress his.

"Nothing brings me greater joy than you, Kate. You are my world and I'd do anything for you – give anything to see the beautiful smile of yours. I love you Katherine Houghton Beckett Castle. You are the love of my life and always will be. Together we can do anything – we've proven that fact time and time again."

The emotion seizing Kate caused her head to fall, her stare reaching her beaten hands which were resting in her lap. She knew she should be in pain, but her emotional turmoil overrode any ability to process physical pain. The oscillating waves of nausea and vertigo assaulting her were not helping the situation. Nor was her excruciating headache.

"I guess I should face this, deal with the pain now so I don't prolong the inevitable." Kate said through a burdened sigh.

"Kate, are you sure? You don't need to force yourself before you're ready."

"I don't know that I'll ever be ready." She confessed dejected. "Is it bad that I don't even know if I want to see her? That I feel like there is no reason that will ever be good enough for her to abandon me and my dad? That I feel so much anger and resentment?"

"No - I think what you're feeling is quite normal given the circumstances." Castle asserted. "When do you want to see her?"

Before she could answer a fresh wave of nausea struck Kate compelling her to sprint toward the bathroom. Castle rose from the bed to follow her, desperate to ease her malady in any way possible. He yearned to take all that Kate was dealing with upon himself and he'd delight in doing so. Contented in the knowledge that she was free of such burdens.

"You've been sick for almost a week now. I'm worried about you." He said kneeling beside her, ghosting his fingertips along her back.

"There's no need to worry babe. The flu happens." She replied with nonchalance. "Though not ideal when your dead mother decides to show up alive and well."

"Indeed, Mrs. Castle." Relief filled him when her stomach was at last calm. "What can I do?"

"Hold me for a while. I just need to feel you close to me."

"It would be my pleasure." He smiled with warmth offering a hand to help her to her feet.

Midway to the bed Kate abrupt froze with a look of panic smeared across her face. "Castle – "

"What is it, love?" Castle was now facing Kate, searching her face for some sign of what was coursing through her mind.

"I didn't realize it until – Oh, no, no, no. Not now." He could tell that she had retreated into her mind again.

"Kate – Please tell me what's going on."

"I – I'm late." She stuttered, her expression blank.

Castle failed to hide his surprise and the smile that adorned his face. He knew why she was panicking though and in honesty he didn't blame her. He swallowed hard preparatory to his inquisition.

"How late?"

"At least three weeks." She answered still stunned. "How did I not notice until now? I guess it has been a hectic month, but still."

"We don't know for sure yet though, but it would be wise to make sure."

"Castle – " She looked at him with heartbreaking sincerity. "I don't want you to think – "

"Kate, if you are in fact pregnant I don't doubt that you want this baby. I know that the stress of the current circumstances and the less than ideal timing are what concern you."

"Yes. It's true. Plus the idea of confronting everything with my mom... while combating raging hormones. What a cruel combination." Kate laughed in a poor attempt to lighten the mood.

"I have a proposition for you, Mrs. Castle." He mused.

"You're propositioning me – I accept!"

"Well, perhaps that too." He bantered with a sly wink. "How about we make a trip to the drug store and buy a few tests. After you take them I can hold you for as long as you'd like as planned."

She was defenseless against that adorable smile of his. It never ceased to make her heart soar as if she were falling in love with him for the first time again. Kate never would have thought that one of the most joyous days in her life would be one of the most trying days too.

Deep within herself she knew that as long as she had Richard Castle by her side she could overcome anything and everything.

"I think your idea is perfect, Mr. Castle." She smiled, her spirits somewhat lifted.


	5. Chapter 5 - Flights of Fancy

Kate wore a vacant expression as she stared at the three plastic applicators on the bathroom counter. Each bearing congruent results. Castle now poised beside her, draped an affectionate arm over her shoulder. Their collective silence filled the loft as they processed the events of the last few hours. They would soon become parents again.

"Please tell me what's running through that pretty little head of yours, Kate."

"I'm so happy." She whispered, her response catching in her throat. "I am. We've talked about another baby for a couple of months now."

"What is the hesitation I'm sensing then?" He inquired with empathy. She cursed how well he could read her, at one time she was capable of better hiding her emotions from him.

"I worry what stress the situation with my mom will bring. I don't want it harming this baby." Having articulated her fears, her tears began to flow without restraint.

"I know, love." Castle soothed luring her into his arms, his chin resting on her head. "I know."

He inclined away from his wife so he could meet her face and positioned his hands on each cheek. "Kate, we'll get through this. I promise."

Her eyes closed, reassured by the gentle caress of his thumbs on her face. "I know, babe." She murmured, revealing a weak smile.

He leaned toward her, compelling his lips to ornament hers and convey his abiding devotion. Both became lost in the conversant security of the other's warmth. Releasing her, his hand trailed down her arm pausing to grasp hers. He then directed her to the bed where he proceeded to lie beside her. Acquiescent to her request he began to hold her in reverence, his hands drawn to hers. He was mindful of how he positioned his hands, not wanting to aggravate her wounds.

Racking sobs overcame Kate. She wasn't sure if hormones, emotional exhaustion, stress were to blame. Though it was likely a culmination of the three. She wished that she could just disappear with Castle, Alexis, and Samantha for a while. Escape the extreme unpleasantness of her mother's return. She laughed realizing that without thought, she'd chosen to rest her hands over the site of her growing child. Castle's hands atop hers. The epiphany was enough to make her melt.

It didn't take long for Kate to begin succumb to her fatigue, hastened by the serenity of her husband's embrace. She knew Castle's fatigue matched hers, but he would refuse to sleep as long as she was awake. He had the adorable habit of placing her needs and well-being over his own. Sometimes she wished he wouldn't, but in this moment she was appreciative. She needed to allow her mind a break before confronting any interaction with her mother.

A baby. She thought, levelling her palm to her lower abdomen. The tableau occupying her mind before sleep overtook her was of a boy with bright sapphire eyes inherited from his father. Possessing his optimism and zest for life and her tenacity. The fantasy of such a child bled into her dreams offering the tranquility she required.


	6. Chapter 6 - Revelations

A/N: Thank you everyone for your encouragement and feedback. I know the chapters are short, but my life is kind of busy and so it helps me to be able to update more often. I know that you have all been dying to read the chapter where Kate finally talks to Johanna – well the wait is over. You've reached the chapter. I just needed to set up some emotional background before going into it. I appreciate your patience. Thank you for your generous compliments. – E.B.

Kate was nervous as she stood outside Jim Beckett's door. With fingers woven into Castle's, Kate fought the maelstrom raging within her. This would be the first time she'd seen, let alone spoken to the mother she thought she'd buried all those years ago. The conflict was mounting within her; she wanted to run away and sprint in straight to Johanna all at the same time.

"Ready?" Castle breathed.

Kate nodded permitting him to knock. The moment her husband's knuckles connected with door her nerves became a sporadic mess. Her heart sank at the echo of each footstep approaching them. The door swiveled open revealing a gaunt Jim Beckett.

"Hi, Katie, Rick." Jim greeted with a smile forced through his anxiety. "Come in."

Kate didn't mind that her father had opted to forego the pleasantries, it was plain how everyone was doing. Upon crossing the threshold the familiar visage of Johanna Beckett came into view. Johanna's attention remained fixated on her hands, which she had been wringing in her lap. Kate felt the blood drain from her face while a steady numbness sank into her body.

"I can't do this." She whispered as she collapsed into Castle.

"Yes you can Kate." He assured her with a smile. "Regardless of the outcome, you need to know why she did this. For your sake."

"-Katie." Johanna's voice pierced her.

Pivoting to face Johanna, Kate's distress bourgeoned the instant her eyes drew in the warmth of her mother's. Her instinct was to rush over, embrace her and refuse to let go. While in the same moment the sting of abandonment threatened to overtake her. She clung to Castle to steady herself as he guided her to a seat across the coffee table in front of Johanna. Kate eye line focused on her mother as she clenched her jaw. She was at a loss for words. She eased more when Jim sat beside her on the couch, opposite Castle.

"First, words cannot express how sorry I am. Whether you choose to believe any of what I have to say or not, I – I need you to hear it." Johanna's voice saturated with profound remorse.

"You haven't given us much reason to trust you, mo - Johanna." Kate's response escaped with more venom then intended. She knew that her use of her mother's name had struck a chord as Johanna's eyes were now immersed in further pain.

"I deserve that – I do and your anger is justifiable. But you need to know that what I did was to protect you and your father." Johanna explained glancing at Kate and then to Jim, her expression distraught. Jim's silence indicated that a similar discussion had taken place before Kate's arrival.

"Don't give me that. You fake your death. Which almost killed both of the people you claim to be trying to protect. Then waltz back into our lives with the expectation that we can all just pick up where we left off!" Kate's vexation was bubbling the surface. "

I feel like I don't even know who you are - yet I'm expected to buy into any explanation that you might have!" Kate struggled to keep her tears at bay, but the array of emotion she was experiencing was consuming. "You chose to leave! To let us believe you were dead! You abandoned us!"

Mid breakdown Kate's nausea returned with a vengeance forcing her to sprint to the bathroom. Once her stomach was void anything it contained, she continued to dry heave between wracking sobs. She knew that she needed to calm herself down, she was making herself sick and it wasn't good for the baby. She heard someone enter the bathroom and pause at the entry. But another wrenching dry heave seized her before she could look to see who it was.

"How far along are you?" Kate closed her eyes, disappointed at having her mother of all people unmask her.

"What?" Kate breathed still trying to physically recover. "I'm not pregnant." She wasn't ready nor willing to share this part of her life with a woman who felt a casual acquaintance.

Johanna looked at her daughter with skepticism, "You were never good at lying to me, Katie."

"I'm not lying. I'm not pregnant, I've just been getting over the flu." Kate protested with nonchalance. "I've been pregnant before and this is not it. Not that you'd know since you were busy playing dead when Samantha was born."

"You mean – I have a grandchild?"

"Two actually." Kate corrected.

For a brief moment Kate consented herself to find Johanna's fusion of surprise and delight endearing. But put up her guard the moment she caught herself. Johanna would need to earn her trust again before she would allow her walls to come down. Though she couldn't help feeling somewhat guilty for her sharp responses. She was doing her best to navigate the emotional complexity of this situation yet felt she was failing. She didn't know if it was her physical and emotional exhaustion that persuaded her to soften and open up to Johanna some. She knew that she'd find out about her family at some point.

"Alexis... Alexis is Rick's daughter from a previous marriage, but I consider her just as much my own as I do Samantha." She didn't know why she felt the need to elaborate.

"I saw your wedding announcement in the paper." Johanna reminisced. "I knew you married the famous Richard Castle, but that's about it."

"And now I have tw0 - well soon to be three grandchildren." Kate rolled her eyes at Johanna's persistence.

"I told you, I'm not – "

"Are we going to keep playing this game, Katherine?" Johanna replied, her head dubious of .

Kate sighed, she knew it was hopeless. Johanna Beckett was one person, besides her husband, that she unable hide things from. "Fine... You win. I'm around seven weeks."

She shook her head in dejection, "I don't know how to do this. I wished for so long that it was a mistake... that you weren't dead and here, alive. I'll be honest. I don't know whether I feel angry or relieved. I'm doing my best to understand, I am."

"I know and your reaction is normal, you should know that. None of this has been easy for anyone."

"So... where were you all this time? What was so pressing that you had to abandon your entire life?"

"I came across information in one of my cases, information that would be damaging to some powerful people."

"But Senator Bracken's been dead for years. He hung himself in his prison cell after his conviction. Why are you resurfacing now?"

"Do you honestly think he did that, Katie? That this is just about William Bracken?" Johanna scoffed. "William Bracken was nothing more than the inconsequential tip of the proverbial iceberg."

The instant Johanna's words registered with Kate a new panic set in. Everything she though that she and Castle had buried had been dormant. Awaiting the opportune moment to resurface. The exhaustion was more than she could bear, she needed to lie down.

"This is a lot of information for one day and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that you've hit your limit for the day. I'll go get Rick." Johanna said in understanding before disappearing.

Kate closed her eyes hoping to keep her vertigo under control without success. She felt relieved when she heard Castle enter the room, the intoxicating scent of his cologne filling the room. She extended an arm to her and pulled her to her feet. By this point in their marriage he knew better than to carry her, despite his desire to do so.

"I'm telling you, some of the best conversations take place in the bathroom." He joked in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood.

"It wasn't exactly ideal." Kate murmured. "My dead mom shows up after twenty-two years and I end up throwing up in front of her."

"She knows about the baby, doesn't she?"

"Sorry, it wasn't by choice." She winced with guilt.

"In a strange way I think it's better that she knows." Castle expressed, somewhat surprised by his outlook himself.

"Why?"

"She might be more helpful than you realize." He answered with caution. "I'm not saying that you have to or should trust her like you did before, but you never know what might happen."

"I'm tired, babe. I can't think about this anymore right now. Take me home?"

"Always." He smiled planting his lips upon her forehead.


	7. Chapter 7 - What You Gave Up

Johanna's admission about Bracken weighed on Kate's mind. All these years she'd believed she and her family was safe was nothing more than foolish pretense. Her body and mind yearned for sleep, but the unrelenting ruminations impeded her ability to do so. She and Castle collapsed onto the bed, drawing comfort from the reticent embrace they shared.

"Kate, we can do this." Castle breathed, sweeping the hair from her forehead and tucking it behind her ear.

"I know, love." She offered a faint smile, her palm in fervent repose upon his cheek. "It's just feels like I've been a fool engaged in a world that's more fiction than it is fact. Like everything has been an elaborate lie."

"This –" He whispered, imparting a passionate kiss upon her lips. His gesture conveying his enduring adoration and devotion to her. "The intense love we share is real."

She loved Castle more than she could ever express. She reciprocated his kiss with profound emotion. In this moment emphasizing tender adoration instead of lust. He was right, they were real – the life they'd built together was genuine.

"Alexis, mother, your dad – they're who they've always been." He then placed his hand with reverence on her lower belly. "Samantha - this baby – they're real."

Kate couldn't resist the urge to weep at her husband's gentle reminder. She knew that her tears were a summation of exhaustion, gratitude, and inexpressible love. Not a day went by that she wasn't humbled by the fortuitousness of having met Richard Castle. The man had always brought out the best in her.

"Thank you." She said with a hoarse voice.

"Always."

Kate awoke some time later entrenched in her husband's stout, warm arms. Her desire to keep sleeping felt insatiable, yet her morning sickness was intensifying. She attempted to make her way to the bathroom without waking Castle, easing herself from his embrace. Luckily for Kate, the uncomfortable ordeal was brief this time. She brushed her teeth and made back to the bed, pausing to take stock of the tableau before her. She loved watching Castle sleep, looking peaceful and without care.

"Are you okay?" He asked with a groggy smile, eyes still closed.

"Yeah – comes with the territory, right?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

Kate sighed, motionless where she'd been watching him. Castle caught it and articulated her thoughts before she could. "I'm ready to see Samantha too."

"I see you're on my wavelength again, babe." Kate teased.

"Shall we?" He said rising from the bed and offering his elbow, feigning propriety.

"Yes, we shall." She answered threading her arm through his.

"As you wish, Milady." Castle said with an exaggerated bow then escorted his wife to their front door.

Kate opened it she surprised to see Johanna standing in front of her, fist still poised to knock. She looked weathered and fraught. To Kate, Johanna's appearance mirrored the reflection herself she'd caught moments ago.

"Hi." Kate whispered dumbfounded.

"Hi. I – I'm sorry. It looks like you and Rick were on your way out the door. I should – I should go."

Perceiving the depth of the desperation on Johanna's face tore into Kate and her instinct was to comfort her. And if Kate was being honest, Johanna's departure was the last thing she wanted. Castle didn't miss a beat, it was frightening how well he could read his wife.

"I'll be back in ten minutes, love." He said offering her a comforting gaze then brushing a light kiss onto her forehead.

"Thank you." She whispered before kissing him on the cheek.

Kate turned her attention to her mother with a hint of a smile and asked, "Would you like to come in?"

"Only if it's what you want, Katie."

"You of all people should know that I never offer anything up unless I truly want to."

"Thank you."

"Have a seat." Kate uttered gesturing toward the couches.

"Katie – Sorry, I don't even know if you are alright with me referring to you by that anymore."

"I am. You've never referred to me any other way." She confessed.

Kate could see the relief wash over Johanna's face at her affirmation. This exchange was far from easy, but she found perplexing solace in it. Regardless of how much Kate wanted to place walls between her and Johanna, she faltered and the barriers crumbled.

"I'm sorry for keeping you. Watching you leave the house – I just panicked. I fought the urge to stop you for as long as I could." She admitted, pushing her palms through her hair while staring at the floor. "I'd decided to take a walk to clear my head and somehow, without even thinking about it or planning on it arrived here – I had to see you."

Kate didn't know how to reply, instead placing a hand on her mother's shoulder before she could catch herself. Both women hadn't paid much mind to the passing time. Each surprised when Castle returned, peeking his head into the loft as if to ask permission. Kate nodded and the door swung open revealing an energetic Samantha in her father's arms.

"Mommy!" She shouted, running with enthusiasm to meet Kate.

"Hey, baby girl!" Kate cooed scooping the toddler into her loving arms.

Kate turned to Johanna only to see silent tears flowing down her cheeks without restraint. She studied the beautiful brunette awestruck at how she mirrored her own daughter so well. Her tears were not only of joy, but also at the memory of Kate's upbringing and the years with her that she had lost.

"She's beautiful, just like her mother." Johanna breathed refusing to take her eyes off of her granddaughter.

"Samantha, do you know how this is?" Kate asked.

The girl nodded then huddled against her mother's chest.

"This is your grandmother." Kate chuckled when a confused look plastered on her daughter's face. "No, baby. Not Gram. You're other grandmother."

Kate didn't even know why she was doing any of this, but she couldn't help herself. She wanted Samantha to know the woman that Kate had looked up to her whole life and she wanted Johanna to know her granddaughter.


	8. Chapter 8 - Unequivocal

Castle's gathered Samantha into his arms and carried her into her bedroom. A marked pensiveness occupying him. Kate's intuition carried the shift in her husband's conduct to the forefront of her mind. She didn't appreciate the inexorable suspicion that he wasn't being forthcoming. As if she were a spectator on the outskirts of all which he sought to protect her from.

"Why did you do that? I know the greater part of you didn't want to." Johanna asked perplexed. Her inquiry in part upsetting Kate's focus on her concern.

"Do what?" Kate's response was semi-attentive.

"Allow me to see Samantha."

"I did it for her." Kate answered concisely. "As much as I, in truth, wanted to keep her from you. She deserves to know."

"That's fair." Johanna murmured attempting to veil her pained disappointment.

"That's not why you're here though, is it?"

Johanna's perplexed eyes searched Kate's, reaching for anything that might save her. Their intricate waltz of emotion was on the verge of fatal misstep. The vital balance fronting its imminent tearing asunder.

"No." Johanna's impending admission prompted her voice to become a hint of a whisper.

"Ah. I see." Kate fought to stay the intrinsic conjecture assaulting her mind. She noted a gradual awareness of all physical sensation dissipating. A steady numbness sinking in effort to protect her. Her affliction fueled by the insatiable anger and agony threating to shroud her.

Johanna ached to soothe the maelstrom raging within her daughter. Her grief exacerbated by the acceptance of its source. She was aware that her silence wasn't beneficial to either party, but she found herself at a loss. A former lawyer incapable of basic articulation.

"Well?" Kate snapped having grown tired of the deafening silence between them.

"There's a reason they allowed me to see you and your father. As you know only special circumstances allow for a person to deviate from the security of witness protection."

Kate felt as though the room was spinning. Her mind trapped in a surreal fog leaving her feeling detached from her body and incapable of registering any emotion. She understood the words Johanna spoke, but felt more an onlooker to their conversation than a participant.

"Katie, something's happened. You, your father… Rick, Samantha… none of you are safe anymore."

"And Alexis and Martha?" Kate inquired, her tone vacant.

"No. Rick has been packing while we've been talking. He's already called Alexis and Martha."

"Packing? Why?"

"You can't stay here, Katie. They'll find you."

"They? Who's they?!"

"I'll explain everything once we're safe. I promise. But we have to go now. You're father, Martha, and Alexis are waiting for us outside."

"No, you'll explain now!" Kate growled.

Johanna sighed in surrender. "Remember when I told you that Bracken is just the beginning. You've caught their attention. This isn't exclusive to the arena of politics or the United States. These men have power that touches far beyond what one could imagine. Killing you all would be simple as if each of you never existed. "

Kate started at Johanna, her expression riddled with simultaneous horror and confusion.

"Kate. We need to go. Answering now will generate more questions than answers."

Kate pushed a fraught palm over her forehead and through her disheveled hair. She'd reached her threshold. Every sliver of her on the precipice of collapse. Facing the abrupt abandonment of the life once enchanting mere hours before. Her heart raced with her breathing in tow. Her head throbbed from tension as her nausea returned with retribution. She struggled to rise wishing to find Castle, but an abrupt haziness struck as the darkness devoured her. Her body collapsed to the ground, the commotion disrupting the static air.

The first face to penetrate the blur of Kate's vision was Castle's. It was wrought and disquieted. She wrestled through the fog of her disorientation to recall what had taken place moments earlier. Her mind failed to evoke any memory from before her fall. The warmth of Castle's hands cradling her face helped ease the intense throbbing in her head. Kate's distress mounted as her memories began to return and the silhouette of Johanna Beckett came into view.

"Kate? Kate are you okay?" Castle inquired in a way that sounded more a plea.

"Wha… What happened?"

"You passed out." Johanna reacted before Castle could reply. "I tried to catch you, but I didn't reach you in time..."

"Babe, I'm going to go get Lanie to take a look at your head. Make sure everything's alright. She's just outside." Castle informed with loving concern.

"I'm so sorry, Katie… This is all my fault." Johanna cried. "I wanted so much more for you. So much better than this mess that I've made."

Kate wanted to reply, but found herself struggling to string together a coherent thought. This was in large part due to throbbing in Kate's head. The pain was intensifying with the passing time. She couldn't bear to keep her eyes open because the lighting of the room was blinding. It didn't take long for her to fall prey to her lack of consciousness once again.


	9. Chapter 9 - Variation

The ceiling loft began to shift into gradual focus. The distant and foreign voices echoing in Kate's ears translated into intelligible articulation. Kate soon became aware of the stabbing pain in her head as she strived to blot away the residual distortion in her vision. For a moment she dared to hope that she'd awoken from a nothing beyond a nightmare. That the preceding thirty-six hours, in waking reality, never transpired.

"Ugh… Ma tête." Kate grumbled as she pressed her hands over her face. She failed to recognize that her expression had escaped in French instead of her intended English. Her concern grew once Castle's anxious face achieved lucidity.

"Kate?"

"Hmm?" She answered, her attempt to sit upright stifled by her husband's overprotectiveness.

"It's been a while since I've heard you use French." The inflection in his tone betrayed him, instigating the distress within her.

"What are you talking about? I didn't… Castle, if this is a joke it's not funny." She opposed endeavoring to veil her panic.

"You groaned and said my head in French."

It surprised Kate when the voice offering clarification didn't belong to Castle. Her mother crouched beside her and offered her the glass of water in her hand. Kate took the glass from Johanna and sat up to drink, grateful for Castle's supportive hand against her unsteady back. Her head screamed with vehemence in protest of her new position.

"I could have sworn I spoke English." Kate sighed reclining into Castle, her hands shrouding her eyes. "Those lights are blinding."

"You forget that you're not the only one who's fluent in French, Katie. Rick called your friend Lanie. She'll be here any minute to examine you and make sure you're okay."

Kate found it strange how in this situation Johanna fell back into her maternal role with such ease. Her violent headache allowed no room for protest. Kate didn't debate her need of a doctor, her worry more for the baby than herself.

"Kate! I came as soon as I could." Lanie exclaimed rushing into the loft.

"Thanks, Lanie. I would be a mess without you."

"You're just now figuring this out." Lanie teased with a wink then knelt next to Kate. "Alright, let's take look at your head…"

Kate winced when Lanie's fingers contacted the tender region of her scalp.

"Okay this part isn't going to be fun. I need to check your pupils."

"Okay." Kate consented bracing herself for an incursion pain.

The light seared Kate's eyes and amplified the stabbing ache within her skull. She felt her ability to keep her eyes open waning when Lanie pulled the light from her eyes. Her instincts compelling her to return to the soothing darkness of eyes closed.

"Well, Kate, you have a concussion and by the looks of it you need more sleep and fluids too."

Before Kate could open her mouth to protest Lanie interjected.

"Ah, now don't give me any excuses. Writer Boy told me what's going on here."

Kate understood and even appreciated the fact that Castle disclosed the news about their baby to Lanie. She understood that under ordinary circumstances, it would be their secret until the time was right. But the definition of this situation proved far from ordinary.

"You have my full cooperation."

"Good. Now, we need to look at a few things to make sure everything's still okay with baby Castle."

Castle breathed a sigh of relief once he knew the baby was safe and healthy. Kate would need some time to recover from her concussion. As much as he yearned to hold her as she slept, he knew that it was vital that she not fall asleep until it was safe for her to. He drank in her beauty, even worn down she still proved a tableau of immaculate masterpiece.

Kate loved the way her husband ran gentle fingertips through her silken hair. It eased her rigid frame and ushered in a serenity that she craved. The interminable chaos allotted no time for Kate to gather her bearing. She strove to muster what strength remain as she once again faced the mandatory exit from her everyday life. She didn't know how she could manage this, but placed unwavering certainty in one truth. The truth that with Richard Castle at her side, she could conquer anything. If she couldn't leave their life behind for her, then she would for him and their family. Regardless of her mother's role in this their safety would always be her priority.


	10. Chapter 10 - Valediction

Tears trailed Kate's cheeks as she gathered her things and placed them with care into a bag. Castle had gone to Samatha's room to finishing packing, though Kate suspected he'd sensed her need to be alone. She needed time, though brief, to bid farewell to their life in the loft and all the memories within. She cast her gaze about their bedroom, surveying it for anything she might have missed.

She approached the dresser strewn with their photos, an illustration of their life together. She swept her fingertips across each frame in reverence recalling the sensation of every moment. Her tears now falling without difficulty. Her hand lingered on one picture in particular, her heart seared by its resonance. Her thoughts bled into the ardor of temperate arms safeguarding her from the turbulence of her mind.

"You almost ready?" Castle whispered into Kate's ear, his chin falling onto her shoulder.

Kate resigned herself to a nod, the ability to articulate eluding her.

"Somehow we'll make this be okay, Kate. I don't know how yet, but we will. I promise."

Kate's silence prevailed as a fresh tear rolled down her cheek. Her hand sought Castle's while the other lingered with the photo. She gripped both in desperation. As if they were the only things protecting her from becoming lost within the infinite depths of pained cognizance.

Castle's free hand grasped the unoccupied corner of the frame with a marked gentleness. He began to pull it toward them compelling Kate's rigid hand to follow suit. In time surrendering it to him, but not without initial hesitation. Relief filled her as she watched the great care with which he secured it into her bag atop their bed.

"Kate, darling, I'm so sorry, but we need to go. They're waiting for us." Castle urged as he approached his wife and regained her hand.

Kate offered a weak smile and followed his lead, but paused after a few steps. Castle turned to his wife, his patience unwavering. He studied her features in an attempt to decipher the cryptic message locked within.

"I love you, Richard Castle." Kate breathed. Her sincere and unbridled humility saturated her tone.

"I love you too, Katherine Castle." He smiled and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze then proceeded to lead her out of the loft.

The couple met Martha and Alexis in the hall, both looked worn and somber. Their safety also compromised due to their close association with Kate. Samantha looked peaceful as she slept in the comfort of her step-sister's arms. Martha ran her fingers through the toddler's dark strands grateful for the distraction. The stillness of the hallway proved both eerie and uncharacteristic.

For a moment Kate had forgotten about her recent discovery and the fact that neither Martha nor Alexis knew. Given the circumstances, Kate was almost grateful that it remained a secret for the time being. However, guilt crept into her mind at the thought of her mother being fully aware of her present condition.

Martha and Alexis were family, her family. They'd supported her and Castle through both good and bad. They hadn't walked away like Johanna had and Kate couldn't help but feel as though her omission was, on some level, a betrayal. She would tell them, but not yet. They didn't need any more worry.

A despondent Ryan and Esposito stood in the lobby of the building. Each dreading the departure of the Castle family from the elevator. Once Kate made eye contact with each of the boys her emotion became too difficult to bear. She rushed to them, collapsing into a shared hug, half of her face resting on each man's shoulder.

"This is too much… How am I supposed to say goodbye?" Kate choked through racking sobs.

"Family never says goodbye to each other, Chica." Esposito comforted, tightening his embrace. He too was struggling to keep his emotion at bay.

"He's right, Beckett. It's not goodbye…" Ryan's words fell short. He swallowed hard and cleared his throat. "I'll see you soon." He affirmed, pulling her closer to him.

Ryan's touching words added fuel to the emotional fire burning within Kate. She felt parts herself dying a bit more with each heart-wrenching farewell. She hated the brief nature of their exchange, but knew that if they weren't she'd never leave.

"I'm going to miss my pequeña Bonita so much." Esposito sighed with deep pain.

With great love Esposito ran his fingertips through Samantha's soft locks then bending to kiss her forehead. He exercised caution not wanting wake the sleeping girl. Javier had never been one for children until Samantha came along. From the first moment he saw her on he'd been smitten by her delicate charm.

"Be safe, girl."

"Yes, look out for those two. They need all the help they can get!" Ryan teased nodding toward Kate and Castle in a feeble attempt to lighten the mood.

"I will, guys. I promise." Alexis replied pulling both into an embrace.

Kate scoured the room anxious to find Lanie, but found no sign of her best friend. It wasn't difficult to understand why. Lanie had taken Kate's impromptu departure the hardest. In many ways the Castle family had become more ingrained into the fabric of her heart than her own.

"No Lanie?" Esposito and Ryan exchanged a sullen look before Esposito answered.

"I haven't seen or heard from her since we found out about you leaving."

Before Kate could reply her attention snapped to the sound of the lobby doors being flung open.

"I'm not too late am I?" A frenzied Lanie Parish yelled as the entered the building.

"Lanie…" Kate cried moving to meet her best friend.

"Kate!"

"I'm so glad you made it. I couldn't live with not being able to say goodbye to you, Lanie. You're my best friend after all."

With the two women distracted, Ryan and Esposito pulled Castle aside to bid their farewells. The three men had become more brothers than friends over the years. Along with Kate and Lanie, they'd become a close-knit and loyal family regardless of blood relation.

"Keep everyone safe, Castle. That includes you." Ryan declared offering Castle a brief hug.

"I will, Ryan. I promise." Castle smiled. "Farewell, my friend. Keep my legacy alive while I'm gone."

"They don't call me Castle Junior for nothing." Ryan laughed.

It took Castle by surprise when Esposito pulled him in for an emotional hug.

"Take care of my girls, Castle. Don't let anything happen to them, especially my Bonita."

"I would die before I allowed anything to happen to any of them, Espo. Remember, they're my girls too."

Esposito released his hold on the author and nodded in defeat.

"Be safe, man."

"You too."

The emotional exchanges between each party were soon curtailed by Johanna's regretful voice. Her wary words declaring the need for their immediate departure.

"Goodbye, Lanie. Take care of yourself. I hope to see you again someday soon."

"I do too." Lanie managed to smile through her tears. "Now go."

Kate dragged her body to the care fastening herself next to her husband. She laced her fingers through his and peered out the window, her spirits dejected and forlorn. She felt the panic set in as the vehicle began to pull away and the visage of her once happy life. The building still holding the memories and people she loved disappeared into the concrete jungle of the city.


	11. Chapter 11 - Ivory Tower

For Kate, everything after their departure became a blur ebbing between reality and fantasy. The majority of their journey found her succumbed to deep and tranquil repose. The enticing slumber which beckoned her didn't come by coincidence.

Unbeknownst to her, Castle had laced her morning decaf with a sedative. He'd consulted Lanie beforehand to ensure he chose one that wouldn't harm the baby. The swift incline in her stress level prompted more than slight concern.

He knew that she'd be angry with him once she realized what he'd done, but he didn't care. Her health and safety always came first, no matter the expense. He never had cause to doubt their ability to be happy amid the chaos thrust upon them. As long as they were together they could overcome anything. Always.

Castle's lips hinted at smile as he ran his fingers through his sleeping wife's hair. From the moment the sedative began to overtake her, Kate's head remained on his shoulder. After over six hours of travel the car slowed signifying their arrival. He didn't have the heart to wake her, instead carrying her to their new bedroom.

Kate shot upright with a start. Her hand instinctively reached for the spaced beside her. She found comfort in the familiar warmth beside her, but it proved fleeting. Confusion and panic inundated her as her eyes began to adjust to the darkness.

"Castle, where are we?" She said, shaking his frame in hopes of waking him.

"Hmm...? What?" He mumbled semi-coherent.

"Castle, please wake up."

"What is it, Beckett? Castle yawned as he began to come to.

"Where are we? How long have I..."

"We're in Cavendish." He answered, turning the bedside lamp on.

"As in Canada?"

"Prince Edward Island to be exact." He pulled her tense frame closer to his, "And you've been asleep for almost fourteen hours now."

"Fourtee-"Kate exclaimed, lowering her voice once she noticed she was shouting, "fourteen hours... I remember feeling more tired than usual, but I didn't think I was _that_ tired._"_

Kate's face became a tableau of skepticism as she began to piece everything together. The apologetic look her husband countered with only helped to amplify her suspicion. Under ordinary circumstances such action would upset her. But the genuine fear and worry behind his eyes spoke volumes.

"Castle..." She growled feigning anger.

"Kate, I'm so sor-" She curtailed his sentence with a silencing finger to his lips.

"I think I understand," She whispered. Her finger remained on his lips, proffering the gentle conveyance of selfless affection. "I'm sorry to worry you. I'm trying the best I know how to stay afloat."

Castle hesitated for a moment, searching depths of Kate's weary eyes. He knew what he wanted to say, but took care in his articulation. Pausing to take stock of the weight behind each word.

"I know. This is new territory, but I want to believe that we can transcend its inherent sorrow. I have to believe it, Beckett."

Kate nodded with vigor, her throat tight with emotion. Overwhelming gratitude washed over her. Her husband's unwavering faith in their ability to take on the world never ceased to humble her.

"Would you like a tour of our new home?" Castle offered, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yes, but not yet." She answered, her tone pensive.

Castle waited in tender stillness for her clarification.

"I need to be here, in this moment. With you." She brushed her lips against his. "I just need you."

The morning sunlight spilled into the room and caressed Kate's skin. The refreshing warmth roused her from her ephemeral slumber. With marked subtlety she removed the covers and slipped out of bed. She paused at the window, enraptured by the scenic magnificence beyond.

"It's breathtaking, isn't it?" Castle hummed, lacing his arms around her waist from behind.

"Quite." Kate responded, her mind captivated by the vibrant verdure before her. "Castle?"

"Yes?"

"I'd like that tour now. That is, if you're up for it."

"Always." He purred, tickling her neck with a fervent kiss.

Kate lingered a while longer at the window, taking time to lose herself in this moment of peace. She marveled over the fact that such tumult brought her to this visage of serenity. Her thoughts returned to the present when she felt Castle begin to drape a blanket over her shoulders.

"Ready?" He smiled, placing her shoes at her feet.

"You spoil me, Mr. Castle."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He winked in playfulness.

The couple crept through the house, not wanting to wake the others. Kate noted the inherent vintage charm the farmhouse offered. Without doubt the architecture and detail were all original. Kate guessed early twentieth century.

Once outside, Kate's jaw dropped at the sprawling land around them. There was no sign of nearby houses, just a tranquil canvas of infinite trees and meadows. The sunlight fragmented into innumerable whimsical specks which danced upon the earthen floor.

"It's beautiful."

"2.5 acres, all to ourselves. Built in 1895, but updated to have the modern conveniences, of course. "

"I hate to admit it, but in a way I'm glad to be here. With you, with Samantha, and the rest of our family."

"I am too." He grinned, and drew her nearer.

His chin rested on her shoulder, allowing them to take in the enrapturing view together. His hands gravitated to her abdomen where his fingertips contoured to its minute swell. Kate looked down and laughed.

"I love you so much." She whispered, tilting her head to rest it against his.

"I love you too, Kate." He reciprocated, his intonation matching hers.


	12. Chapter 12 - Respiret

**A/N: Sorry to the confusion on the timeline everyone. I miscalculated quite a bit. This story doesn't break cannon****. Castle and Kate didn't have Samantha until after season 8. So Johanna was gone for twenty-two years and not sixteen.**** Hopefully this updated timeline helps clarify some things for those of you who were confused. **

Kate reclined in silence, reveling in the brilliance of the morning air. The timber swing pitched back and forth easing her into a serene lull. A lull which summoned her eyes to the quiet sanctuary amid an enigmatic black canvas. The lively narratives of nearby birds amplified the deep peace engulfing her senses. She gave no heed the morning chill caressing her skin. Finding herself wholly lost in the insatiability of this moment.

She didn't bother opening her eyes when the cadence of her swaying dissipated. She felt the swing dip as Castle resumed his place in silence beside her. Kate allowed her hand to drift, seeking out his. The sensation proved familiar, but not in the way she'd been anticipating. Taken aback she withdrew her hand and turned to its owner.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Johanna said. Her embarrassment echoing Kate's, "Rick told me I would find you out here."

Kate said nothing. Her eyes searched her mother's for a brief moment only to return to the distant scenery before her. Her attention intent of some invisible object. In truth, she didn't have any words. She felt as though she were sitting beside a stranger.

Kate Beckett had always prided herself in her natural emotional fortitude. Vulnerability had always been a concept avoided at all cost. Yet since her mother walked back into her life vulnerability had become her companion. A fact which she loathed.

"What's going through that complex mind of yours, Katie?" Johanna inquired attempting to break the deafening silence between them.

Kate's head shot up, enraged by the casual use of her name . "Let's get one thing straight here. Just because I've chosen to somewhat let you in, with great reluctance I might add. Doesn't mean that you can call me that."

"I'm sorry, I..."

"You what? Thought that you could disappear for almost two decades and pick up right where you left off?!" Kate clenched her jaw.

The emotion was still so raw. The bitter sting and sense of betrayal. The hormones brought on by the pregnancy weren't helping in the least bit. Once the surge of anger had passed Kate dropped her head dejected.

"You missed it." Kate confessed in a near whisper. The pain in her voice palpable.

Johanna didn't need clarification, she understood with agonizing clarity.

"You missed every big moment of my life. Graduation from the police academy... becoming a detective..." Kate swallowed hard, endeavoring the dismiss the ball of emotion in her throat. "My wedding day... the day your granddaughter was born..."

Kate's words mixed with her forlorn intonation cut deep into Johanna. She was already aware of these things, but hearing them come from her daughter added a new dimension.

"The best part..." Kate laughed with cynicism, shaking her head. Her gaze never leaving her feet. "You have no idea how many times I wished that you were still alive to share those moments with me."

Johanna watched as Kate's hand fell to the slight swell of her abdomen, as if by instinct alone. It rested there for quite some time, cradling the promise of the new life blossoming within.

"I need time." Kate said at last, breaking the silence drifting between them.

"I understand." Johanna replied, failing to hide her disappointment.

"I think I'll take a walk. It's a beautiful day." Kate sighed stepping off the porch and venturing toward the serenity beyond.

The warmth of the sunlight bathed her skin as she strolled through the gathering of pine and maple trees. The refreshing summer aroma filled her nostrils as the symphony of birds graced her ears. She paused when a pristine lake came into her view. A visage of tranquil perfection. A lone willow stood beside the lake, offering the perfect place to lie on the grass and relax.

Lying down beneath the beauty of the tree, Kate closed her eyes. Her senses giving way to the sound of the gentle lapping of water against the shore of the lake. She allowed herself to become lost in her thoughts. This being her first chance to begin processing everything.

Kate opened her eyes when she thought she'd heard the crunching of grass nearby. Perhaps Castle had come looking for her. After surveying her surrounding and finding nothing, she returned to her repose. Arms rested with loving protection over her unborn child. She loved that she was beginning to show. Of course, her slight bump was only noticeable to her and her husband at this point.

Kate jumped when she felt the sudden seizure of her shoulders and a cloth held over her nose and mouth. Before she could open her eyes, she'd succumbed to unconsciousness.


	13. Chapter 13 - A Familiar Place

The frigid air beckoned Kate to consciousness where she awoke with a start. The upward motion of her arms impeded by the restraints binding her to the metal chair beneath her. Still in a haze from what she could only assume was chloroform she fought to gather her thoughts. Her head was throbbing and the singular light in the dark room wasn't helping.

As her mind cleared her thoughts turned to her family and her fear for their safety. Allowing her gaze fall to the slight curve of her belly she struggled to suppress her worries about the baby. A silent tear trailed her slender cheek. Over her course at the twelfth she'd been kidnapped several times. But that was when she didn't have people depending on her like she did now. Of course Kate had worried about Martha and Alexis over the years, but they were adults.

Kate's outlook changed the moment she held her baby for the first time. Never before had she had someone that depended on her the way Samantha did. Never before had she felt experienced a poignant love that came with a single look. It was after she found out about her pregnancy with Samantha that she and Castle decided to slow things down. It was difficult at first but she preferred the safety of desk duty as a captain. Castle went back to writing, but still helped with cases wherever he could.

She knew Castle would come looking for her and the thought was almost too much to bear. Johanna had said that this organization was more far reaching than ever imagined. She didn't want Castle's demise to match her own. Or to have him be the one to find his dead pregnant wife.

The once dark room soon became bright as a brooding man waltzed into the room. He began muttering to himself in Russian, unaware that Kate was understanding every word. He turned to her scanning her body up and down, offering a look that left Kate feeling violated. He approached her biting his lips in a brazen wanton nature. Kate clenched her jaw and held her breath and he ran his fingers through her hair then traced her jawline. She was certain that he was unaware of her condition otherwise he'd want nothing to do with her. She didn't know whether to feel concerned or relieved over this fact.

"Mother, have you seen Kate?" Castle asked with a hint of concern.

"No, Richard. I'm afraid I haven't seen her since before breakfast." Martha replied between bites of her lunch.

"What about you, Alexis. Have you seen her?"

"No, sorry, dad. I may or may not have just woken up." Alexis answered with a yawn.

Castle turned to leave the kitchen just as Johanna walked in. "Mrs. Beck… Johanna… have you seen your daughter by chance?" His inquiry was awkward to say the least.

"The last I saw her was this morning, around 10:30. She went for a walk after I tried speaking with her." Johanna confessed.

Castle looked at his watch. 1:30. "That was three hours ago!" He replied in a panic and grabbing his shoes.

"Alexis, honey. Will please keep an eye on Sam for me? I'm going to go for a walk." Castle lied.

"Yeah, of course, dad."

Castle meandered a while until he found a serene lake bordered by an assortment of trees. His eyes drawn to the beauty of the willow tree. Something about it called out to him, begging him to come hither. As he reached the shade of the willow he noticed something hidden in the grass. Something familiar. He reached down and retrieved it and his heart sank. It was Kate's watch. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his burner phone and called hers. It went straight to the generic voicemail greeting without even ringing.

"Kate!" Castle called out, his cry met with heart wrenching silence.

"Kate!" He screamed louder this time. "No. No, no, no. This can't be happening."

He searched the surrounding area for any sign of where she might have gone, but could see nothing. Castle knew he wasn't being paranoid. Something wasn't right. He hadn't felt this on edge since they'd hunted down Locksat four years ago. Something in the air possessed the same feel in a way he couldn't explain.

He dialed his phone once again and put it to his ear. "Espo, it's Castle. I need your help."


	14. Chapter 14 - Dejected

Kate never thought she'd find relief in the fact that her legs were bound to a metal chair. The restricted movement of her legs limited the possibilities of what this vile man could do to her. He sat across the room alternating glances between his phone and her. Earlier he'd been within inches of her face. It was then that she knew the intention had never been for her to live. There was an unmistakable vacancy in his eyes, malevolent and animalistic. Her stomach seared with hunger as her nausea became more difficult to fight off. She could feel her head spinning with overwhelming dizziness. She knew she needed to eat something soon. It had been hours since her last meal and her pregnancy only intensified the effects. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard, struggling to maintain her composure. She refused to reveal any sign of her fragility to him.

Kate's heart quickened as the man dropped his phone onto the table and rose from his chair. He sauntered toward her with distinct arrogance. He then crouched so he was eye level with her. He looked into her eyes for a moment until his lips curled into a cruel sneer. Reaching his right arm behind his back he retrieved something from his pocket.

"Such a beautiful creature..." He slurred through his thick accent as he brushed Kate's hair from her face.

She didn't move, but continued to stare.

"Just like her mother." He taunted feigning intrigue in the photo he held.

She glanced down and the image and the blood drained from her face. He was provoking her. Waiting for the moment when he'd get a rise out of her, and it was working. She mustered all her strength, focusing on not reacting. She refused to give him the response he craved.

"Tell me, Captain. Do you think they are safe now?" He mocked with a lilt in his voice as he cocked his head to the side.

She maintained her glare as her tears began to gather.

He stood once again and looked as though he might walk away. But instead turned allowing the back of his hand to connect with her cheek. The force almost knocking her and the chair to the floor. He seized her cheeks with his hand.

"Your silence will not last forever, Captain. I can promise you that." He growled throwing the picture to the floor. He then trudged out of the room slamming the door behind him.

Once alone, Kate was powerless to the flood of tears assaulting her. Never before had fearful agony consumed her as it did now. Her distraught gaze confined to the photograph at her feet. She recalled that moment with perfect clarity. It was mere days before after a long country drive. Once they'd arrived back to the safe house Castle had carried their sleeping daughter to her bed. Her thoughts soon engulfed by each horrific scenario of what these people might do to her family. Perhaps they already had them captive.

"I'm sorry." She gasped between wrenching sobs. "I'm so sorry."

She couldn't stay her fierce nausea any longer, this was all too much for her body. She leaned to her right as far as she could and began to empty her stomach of its sparse contents. Even after nothing remained in her stomach she continued to dry heave. The more she thought of Sam and her unborn child the more violently ill she became. Playing through for several minutes.

"Castle…" she managed to utter before the world around her went black.

"Richard, darling, you need your rest." Martha uttered with hesitation as she rested a worried hand upon her son's shoulder.

"I can't. Not when she's out there being subjected to…." His emotion curtailed his response. His stare fixated beyond the window, mind occupied with thoughts surpassing his reach.

"Richard, you don't know that!"

"I want so desperately to have your optimism, mother. But there's something about this that has a familiarity to it. It's as if I'm subconsciously cognizant of it, but the rest my brain is waiting to catch up."

"So, what do we do from here?"

"It's best we don't stay together. It's clear that someone on the inside has leaked information about us presence here. I've arranged for you, Alexis, Samantha, and Jim to be moved to new locations." His reply was dry and emotionless. "Separate locations."

"Richard! You can't be…."

"Mother, please." His voice softened and he turned to meet her eyes. "Trust me."


	15. Chapter 15 - Searching

_A/N: Hello, all. I'm back again after a bit of a break. With the atrocity that has been season 8 and the news on Stana not returning I needed a break to process my frustration. In truth it's been very difficult to continue with this story since season 8 began. I felt like the new showrunners betrayed the essence of the characters and threw them into lazy and poorly written plots. Much of what was built over 7 years was destroyed in a matter of episodes. So I became detached from this last season. Everything felt so forced. The only good part of the series finale was what takes place 7 years later. But even this was rushed and proved to be a further disservice to the fans in an already thoroughly disappointing season. Anyway, there's my caveat on why it's been so hard for me to write. I love writing and am passionate about these stories. Now that everything is over with, I can continue their story. One which in my mind never ends. Thank you all for reading and for your patience. I will likely write a story to have the final episode end in a way that's more deserving of them as closure for myself. I guess I was right about them having a daughter first though. ;) Too bad I didn't have the right name. And the spacing between her and their next baby "is about on par with cannon as well. Don't you just love when that happens? Anyway, I hope you enjoy. _

Castle found the silence of the safe house unsettling. It didn't take long for him to miss the sound of Sam's laughter. To ache for its echoing through the house as her playful grandfather chased her. He stared out the window lost in thought. His mind returning to the day that he and Kate had almost lost everything. The day they both lie on the kitchen floor bleeding out. Fingers linked as they prepared to meet their fate. But even then they found their way back to each other. Back to their happiness.

"I think you know why you're still here with me." Castle muttered interjecting his silence as he heard someone enter the room.

Johanna upheld her stillness.

"I have to find her." His voice staggered with emotion. "No one knows these people like you do."

"Rick, it's not that simple." Johanna sighed biting back her own raw emotions. "They have resources spanning across the globe. She…. she could be anywhere."

"I have someone that can help. Cases like this are his specialty. When Alexis was kidnapped… he saved her. He saved us both."

Johanna approached her son-in-law joining him at the window. She positioned a compassionate hand on his shoulder and continued on.

"The person you're referring to is your father, right? Jackson Hunt?"

"Yes. How did you…?

"There are many things one learns after being the places I've been." Her intonation exuding regret. "Most of which will forever haunt me."

Castle moved to face his mother-in-law. His expression bewildered.

"In many ways," She paused and offered a cynical laugh to herself. Her pain in her confession evident, "it would have been better if I'd bled to death in that alley."

No reply seemed adequate as he remained, absorbing her words.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, Rick, I must be going." She noted with a glace to her watch. "I have an engagement I cannot break."

"Wait. Wha…" His reply curtailed by an inexplicable slur in his speech.

"As I said, I have a pressing matter I must attend to. And I'm afraid I can't have you in my way." Johanna asserted as she feigned a pout as she cradled his jaw.

"What did you…" Castle retorted as his legs betrayed him and a frigid sweat overtook his frame. A profound disorientation beginning to hijack his reality.

"Don't fight the inevitable, Rick. I could tell you it's nothing personal. But then again I'd be lying." She scoffed in a manner which Castle found disconcerting.

"You can't… I won't let you!" He panted with a growl as he fevered to reach her.

She crouched to meet his eye line and whispered with a smirk. "You see, Mr. Castle, some things were never what they at first seemed." Then jerked her arm from his meager grasp and arose to regain her stature.

"You don't deserve her!" Castle spat with a venomous tone. "You… you never…" He managed to continue before succumbing to unconsciousness.

His bitter judgment had no effect as she continued to saunter away. It was only to herself that a sincere reply could be uttered.

"I know."

The frigid breath her concrete prison beckoned Kate from a tumultuous slumber. Her eyes struggled to regain focus as she fought to blink away the obscurity enveloping her. As her senses became more pronounced so did her intense discomfort.

"Good. You're awake. Now we can begin." Kate's heart sank as she heard a voice resonate from the shadows.

"I don't know anything!" Kate declared, the unremitting light above assaulted her eyes. The intense aching of her head burrowing deeper into her skull. Her crushing nausea resurged to parallel the alluring urge to once again welcome consciousness.

The sordid Russian materialized from his home amid the darkness. It wasn't until he stooped beside her that Kate could at last see his repugnant face. Kate closed her eyes and attempted to turn her head as he moved to within inches of her face. His greasy, callused hands crept up her neck and into her hair as he inclined toward her drawing in her scent. She struggled against the duct tape securing her leg motivated by thoughts of what would soon follow. She pulled with all the energy she could muster to free her captive leg. The tape bit into her supple skin, tearing deeper with each frantic tug. To her relief she found enough slack to offer a hasty and vigorous knee to his groin.

As he regrouped, he channeled his wrath into a clenched fist. Which he then proceeded to project into her right cheekbone. Kate not only felt, but heard the bone buckle under the force of his vindictive hand. He recoiled again preparatory to offer a second blow. Though, to his surprise, he was halted when the hand of another party seized his.

"Your instructions were simple. Hold her and do not lay a finger on her." Kate heard a voice bark in Russian. She scraped together what awareness she had left to ascertain its source.

"But…" The lone thunder of gunfire interrupted him as he crumbled, bleeding out at Kate's feet.

Even with the silencer on the blast was loud enough to incite ringing in her ears. Before Kate could catch a glimpse of the shooter, the door slammed leaving her alone once again. The lure of sleep became too tempting as she allowed herself to resume her bereft repose.


End file.
